Tuesday, July 9, 2013

the horrible "s" word




I have to say, whenever I hear the word 'submit' in a marriage context, my hair stands on end and I start seeing red. I HATE that word. (enter matador, waving red flag!) In the conservative church culture I grew up in, women were supposed to defer to their husbands in everything, be 'meek and quiet' (yuck!), stay home and keep house. Women were basically voiceless.

Thankfully, my parents left that particular church and rejected many of those harmful teachings when I was a teenager. But by then many things I heard stuck in my head and I came away deeply scarred and bitter, having believed lies about myself, others, and God. I didn't know I could have preferences and opinions, and didn't know how to resolve conflict in a healthy way. (Still working on that one!)

10 years and 3+ years of marriage after leaving that church environment, I'm still struggling about what it means to be a wife and mother...I want to be great at both without neglecting my talents and developing my interests at the same time.

Last week my sister in law and I had a 2 hour baby-free coffee shop chat about this very topic, and she emailed me earlier this week with the link to this thought-provoking video from mommylovestech.com.  I was skeptical at first, but ended impressed. I thought these ladies had some good insights on submission in marriage outside Christian religious culture. Definitely worth watching.

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